I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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