The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
