I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
