he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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