so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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