i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
