I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well you can't waste a boner
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
