There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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