There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
