we're blogging at a bar
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
