That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How external is "for external use only"?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
