Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
