Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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