I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
