I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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