you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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