**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
