So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
