he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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