First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
