I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
