I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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