ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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