She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
