i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
