The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
