U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
worst night to have a conscience
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
