quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
