And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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