i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
