So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
