Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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