she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
