tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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