her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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