After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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