so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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