I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
