He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
