I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
