Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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