why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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