I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
