The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
