i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
