There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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