im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
