Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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