i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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