the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
